December 28, 2008

Twilight, and my own love story

Okay, it's kinda stupid.
Alright. Don't look at your monitor like that.
I know, it's just a couple hours ago I made a new posting in this blog.
But, I have nothing to do, so sorry if I post a new posting again.

Honestly, I don't know what I have to tell y'all.
Ah, I'm listening to Bella's Lullaby now. You know, the Twilight soundtrack?
It must be nice if we have someone that really love us. Like Edward to Bella. Like Bella to Edward. They love each others without any condition.
Even their love are forbidden.
Even Jacob loves Bella, Bella still choose Edward, and they're get married.
And, what a wonderful world if they can having each others forever. I mean, there's no till death do us apart thing in their story, right? Cause finally Bella become a vampire like Edward. (from the novel--even I'm not read any of them yet)

Well, okay. Back to the lullaby.
The Bella's Lullaby song is their theme song.
Well, I do have a theme song with a person, even I don't know if he knows that we have a theme song.
You know the Keith Martin's song? Because of You?
Yap, that is our theme song.

You know, it must be very nice if someone told you these. Edward said this dialog to Bella before the fight in Eclipse (from the details in the source).

Sleep My Bella Sleep

My love my only love
Sleep and dream as much as you can
Morning will be soon
The fight will begin
Rest my love
Please rest
I will protect you as much as I can
Sleep my soul my only love sleep
Once the fight is over
I promise nothing will hurt you again
Sleep my love
My soul
My Bella

How about me? How about my love life?
Laugh. Laugh out loud. Please. I deserve that.
You know, my love life is suck.
Full of cries, lies, hypocrisy, and of course: denial.

He lies to everyone about us, what can I do? Crying like a fool, like a fool bitch.
I make some sweet revenge and my purpose is to know what's wrong with us. Then, out of the plan, he fell in love with the character I played. Is that my fault? Is that my fault, that he fell in love with someone that I've been created?

He said he loves me, he said I'm the most perfect person he ever met.
Then, boom. He said to everyone that he hates me, he was so tired about me, I'm selfish, childish, spoiled..... and bla-bla-bla.
Then I heard that news and I cried, cried, cried. Thinking that these all my fault, I'm stupid and I screw it up and bla-bla-bla he never loves me at all cause I was making a big mistake bla-bla-bla.....

Then I was mad. Very mad about that. My heart screaming. I love him and he betrayed me that way! He replied all my love and caring and tears that way?

But, a stupid flashback make me wake up. I was hurt him first.
Then, when he tried to make me come back to him, I rejected him without remorse. Heck, stupid me.
Then I realized that.... this is my karma!
How I loved him, how he betrayed me by lying to me, how he tried to catch me back, how I rejected him..............
Then the remorse come. Filling my heart and soul.
Heck. Please. No.

Those tears run away, faster, faster. All those remorse won't go. Those memories come and haunting me. Those love moment....

"Do you love me. Answer it honestly."
"Yes. How about you?"
"How much (in percent)?"
"98%. And the 2% means you are my best friend."
"I love you more. I give all my heart to you, 100%. The rest, I give to my family and friends."

And those fun moment.....

"Let's have a date."
"I don't know. Where do you want?"
"Umm.... bowling? Or billiard?"
"I can't."
"I'll teach you."
"Really? How about ice-skating?"
"I can't."
"I'll teach you."
"I know where's the right place."
"WHAT? I can cry and scream for 7 octaves at least."
"I know you can even more, 20 octaves. "

Even when we were fighting.

"What happened to you? Say something! I can't understand what happened to you if you won't talk even a word!"

Or the jealous-funny time.

"What will you do, if a boy give me a valentine chocolate in front of you?"
"Hit him!" you said that spontaneously.

Even when you tease me with a chocolate from Singapore.

"You know, I've just got some chocolate from Singapore."
"Really? Can I have some?"
"What is supposed to mean with maybe?"
"If I'm not spend it over."
"Ah... please?"
"Haha.... I'm eating that chocolate right now. The last chocolate."

Ah, forget it, Trid. It means nothing now, alright? He already forget it all, so you have to do the same thing.
I hope I can rewind the time, back into those happy time between us.
But, there's no rewind machine, and I'll not depending on you anymore. I hope I can face this truth.
And yeah, you're hers now. What I supposed to do is, support you with that girl, whoever she is. Hope you happy with her.
Well, if you remember about me someday, just pick up the phone and dial my number. I will always here for you, and listening to your stories.
Even there's no love between us, and there's nothing to talk about. No problem.
Even you call me in the middle of the night, in the middle of the crowd.
No problem.
Pick up the phone, dial my cellphone number. If you still have it, anyway.

Ah ya! Don't forget to thank your friends to tell you to broke up with me, because without them, I'll never ever know what you did behind my back.

Maybe someday there's someone in my life, who can accept me whatever I am? I'm pretty sure there's someone. Out there.

Ah ya, and in my wedding party, of course I'll invite you over with your girlfriend, or wife, or even your children(s)!

Maybe, we we're made to be seperated.

P.S. Biasaaa, sori kalo ada banyak salah spelling&grammar. HAHA.

Catch you later! *again, force myself to sleep*

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